Identifying Abuse

KNOWLEDGE EMPOWERS

Knowledge is a powerful tool in breaking the cycle of abuse and saving lives. With the right information, you can be a lifeline for someone in need and contribute to the prevention of abuse and violence. Together, we can create a safer, more informed community.

Understanding the different forms of domestic abuse is the first step towards intervention. Learn to identify emotional, physical, financial and psychological abuse, as well as the tactics used by abusers to maintain control.

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If you’re considering leaving an abusive situation, you’re not alone. We can help you.

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what defines 'domestic violence'?

Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Domestic violence 'power wheel' used to describe the behaviors that overlap between physical, emotio

POWER & CONTROL WHEEL

At The Bridge, we use the Power & Control Wheel to describe most accurately what occurs in an abusive relationship.

Think of the wheel as a diagram of the tactics an abusive partner uses to keep their victim in the relationship. While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence. These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other more subtle methods of abuse.

*Although this Power & Control Wheel uses she/her pronouns for the victim and assumes a male perpetrator, abuse can happen to people of any gender in any type of relationship.

WARNING SIGNS

It’s not always easy to tell at the beginning of a relationship if it will become abusive. In fact, many abusive partners may seem perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence doesn’t look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. But one thing most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner does many different kinds of things to have more power and control over their partner.

Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who:

Tells you that you can never do anything right
Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
Controls every penny spent in the household
Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
Prevents you from making your own decisions
Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
Prevents you from working or attending school
Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
Pressures you to have sex or perform sexual acts you're not comfortable with
Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol