how to talk to survivors
It is important that you communicate support and acceptance to someone who has disclosed a sexual assault to you. Allow the survivor to speak openly and freely. Let them decide what they want to tell you about the assault – don’t force them to talk about it if they aren’t ready. Here are some suggested responses that will convey your support:
- "I’m sorry this happened to you."
- "You didn’t deserve for this to happen."
- "This wasn’t your fault."
- "I believe you."
- "How can I help you?"
Know it was not her/his fault. Most victims of sexual assault feel as though they are somehow to blame for their own assault. Especially, in acquaintance rape/date rape situations victims often feel as though they should have done something different or seen it coming. While this is a normal response, it’s important that as a support person you help the victim know that they are not to blame. No one wants or asks to be sexually assaulted.
listen & believe
be patient & available
respect their choices
One of the most important ways to support survivors is to lend a listening ear without judgment. Believe their stories and validate their experiences. Your empathy can be incredibly healing.
respect their choices
be patient & available
respect their choices
Every survivor's journey is unique. Respect their decisions, whether it's seeking counseling, reporting to authorities, or simply needing time to heal. Let survivors lead the way.
be patient & available
be patient & available
be patient & available
Healing takes time. Be patient and available whenever survivors need to talk, whether it's immediately after an incident or years down the line.